broken love in the myth of a fairytale

my insides gurgle

twist and turn I feel it

the fear and the panic

My head and

my heart

in battle.

it is constant

emotions collide

fear constant

a black cloud

that shrouds my existence everyday

no matter what I do

no matter how much I try

to create the new

to alleviate this fear

it is always there

it never leaves

every time I think I know

it falls to pieces

every time I think it

will happen

it backfires

and I end up

with nothing

embarrassment

shame

surround me

heartbroken

I retreat into the

turmoil of existence

alone

abandoned

forgotten

unworthy

I blame myself

believed in a future

that did not exist

disappointment

I failed

out of chances

out of reasons

burdened

my body strains

under all the pressure.

Where am I meant to be?

What am I meant to be doing?

the fairytale

has no happy ending

tortured

my bleeding heart

can not take the pain

a loneliness

embedded deep in my soul

infinite

it isolates me

Broken love

in the myth of a

fairytale.