my supposed to be

how did I get here?

when did I get so far off track?

I ask the invisible

the answer is silence

I look around

nothing is how it is meant to be

my life at this time

is not how it is supposed to be

how did I get here?

I trace back

the choices

the decisions

I made

question if, maybe, what if

would it have made a difference

if I chose differently?

Would I be standing in the 'not supposed to be'?

It took everything to get here

every ounce of of strength I had

I pushed

clawed

crawled

to arrive at this moment

I saw it so clearly

every decision made to navigate to this point

But this is not what I signed up for

This is not what it is supposed to be like

Where has it gone?

How did I get here?

Why me?

The grief pours from my body

Angry red hot is burns on its release

disillusioned

disappointed

paralyse me

I can't go back

I don't want this

I want more

this is not what it is supposed to be

but this is what it is

It is not what it is meant to be

but this is what it is

do I keep fighting

or settle?

I can't settle

I won't settle

So I keep fighting

I keep living

I keep dreaming

I keep doing

I don't give up

I choose to keep going

And not settle

for anything less

than what I deserve

what I know is waiting there

my supposed to be

#life #path #journey #choice #empower #love #strive #don'tgiveup #worthy #deserve #dream #believe #achieve #success